I am sure everyone has heard that a lot of how we parent is by what we know, how we were parented and our experiences.
Well, I don't like one big thing about how I parent. Often times, when I get frustrated, stressed, tired, etc etc, I yell. I do not in any way, shape or form like yelling. I have really tried to not get frustrated as easily, which helps not yelling. But I still do it.
This stems from my dad. That's what he did when we were growing up - he yelled. And I am not saying he is wrong in how he parented us - he's a wonderful father and I couldn't ask for anyone better!
I am just not ok with yelling. I see what it does to my boy and it crushes him. There are times when I feel like it's the only way to get through to him, but there has to be another way.
Yesterday morning he and I had quite a morning. He was arguing with me, disrespecting me and not listening to me. All from 7 am until we left for the bus at 8! I did not yell, but I raised my voice. I really could have reacted differently to the whole situation.
So Josh got home from work and stayed with the littlest, so I could pick up Liam alone. We took a little bit and I apologized for the way I reacted. He very quickly apologized back for acting the way he did. He knew he was still going to have consequences for his actions, but he also knew that I loved him very much and that had not changed.
So I am trying to find the time to sit down with Liam to ask him to pray for me.
Pray that I stop yelling.
Pray that when I do, because I will I'm sure - I am human, that he will forgive me.
Pray that frustrations will roll off my back.
I know a lot of these things have happened because of Austin getting here. When you have little sleep and are exhausted, things seem larger and worse than they really are. So maybe this is the best time for Liam to be praying for and with me.
He prays every night when he goes to bed that he will listen and respect better, so why shouldn't I pray every night that I will stop yelling? And...I can get some help by having others pray that too.
I am joining Heather at EO: Just Write
2 comments:
I was thinking about this some more: aren't family patterns interesting? My mom made an effort not to yell at us growing up, as she felt she was yelled at alot in childhood because of the need to be heard over the farm equipment and such.
Oh absolutely, Ruhama! I know my dad yelled because Grandpa yelled. And it could have been that Grandpa yelled at my dad a lot because my dad got into A LOT of trouble! :o) haha
I just want to do something different. I know my children are going to make bad decisions and have to deal with the consequences. But that's that. The consequences shouldn't have to be me yelling at them, too.
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