I should be sleeping, but I'm not.
I should be calm, but I'm not.
Tears of exhaustion and frustration are welling up in my eyes and spilling onto my cheeks. My mind is racing with all the what ifs and hows.
My youngest is refusing to sleep for any length of time tonight that would be considered a restful amount. It has been almost 3 hours since I started out bedtime. I finally got him to sleep after quite a battle. I moved him to his bed - no problem. My head hit the pillow and he is awake screaming.
Back in his swing he goes. I am too tired and sore to hold my 20 lb almost 4 month old. He protests and cries, but falls asleep.
But I can't.
All I think about is how I know he needs to not have a nap after 7 pm so he goes to bed easier. But how do you do that when he has been awake since 6 pm and just cries because he's tired. And if he takes a nap he is only out for 30 minutes but that means he is up for another 2-3 hours. I think about how to make a schedule for him. But if I make a schedule, what if he's still too young.
Was it like this with Liam? Am I being too lax on getting more of a routine?
My mind slows and thoughts start to fade. Maybe sleep will come.
I am joining Heather at EO: Just Write