Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Oh Sleep!

Oh sleep! Where have you gone? I use to know what sleep was all about, but now it has gone away. I can't remember what good, solid, comfortable, uninterrupted sleep is like. I know eventually it will come back and I will know it once again, but I am tired. Oh the things you give up and sacrifice when you become parents!

You see, we are trying to transition Austin from bassinet to crib. He wasn't doing the greatest with that and we don't want to cause him to wake up his older brother when Liam has school. So we decided to put the pack n play up in our room and do that. Well Austin is NOT having that at all. He will be sound asleep and then as soon as I lay him down, WIDE awake!

So I pick him up.

He falls back to sleep.

I lay him down again.

He wakes up again.

Which leaves mommy...no sleep!

Yes, I might be complaining or whining and I'm sorry if it sounds like I it. I love my sons and wouldn't change anything, ever, nor would I give them up for sleep. I'm just tired!

Oh sleep, I miss you!

I am joining Heather at EO Just Write

Monday, September 26, 2011

June Cleaver Isn't Real

For a few weeks our pastor at church has been doing a series he calls Home Improvement. This past Sunday, the 18th, he focused on wives and mothers - using the title "June Cleaver isn't real". He wanted to make his point that she is a fictional character in a television program. Yes, it seems nice that she is in a dress and pearls with the house spotless, dinner on the table, dessert in the oven and with a smile on her face, but that is just not realistic all the time.

His sermon has really gotten to me. I haven't been able to get it out of my head and have felt the need to write about it. I have never been a June Cleaver. I have always been one who would rather spend time with my husband, kids, family or friends then be doing things around the house. When I got pregnant with Austin, I started to really feel the needs of my family and home. I was making lists of things that needed to get done and really taking on more of the duties of the home - or at least trying. However, ever since Austin has gotten here, the amount that I can get done in a day has gotten smaller. I started to worry and compare myself to others. My husband never made me feel this way, in fact, he was very supportive and understanding of the new situation. It was all me and my doing as to why I was feeling this way. I really needed to hear this sermon. I am not sure that before I heard it that I knew I needed to hear it, but I did. Why? Because I am not June Cleaver, I am only myself. And I cannot and should not compare myself to other wives and mothers. Isn't that just setting myself up for failure? The reason I am not June Cleaver and neither is anyone else, is because no one is perfect. Therefore, we can't do everything perfectly. Instead, Pastor Bob said we should set and live by priorities - Biblically Based Priorities.

These priorities that Pastor Bob talked about were from Proverbs 31:10-31.

The first priority that he talked about, which happens to be the most important, is to have a vibrant relationship with God.  Verse 30 says "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." In a world where fashion, beauty and looks are what many people measure themselves and others by, as a Christian woman, wife and mother, our priority should be to our relationship with God. Not what clothes we have, how beautiful we look and how we can attain more of these things. We should not be focused on charm and attractiveness. That is not to say we can't being charming or attractive, but just be aware that it should not be WHO we are. Pastor Bob gave some things we can do to help deepen our relationship with God:

~ Ask God for the strength we need for the day ahead and for His blessing for the course of the day.
~ In the simple things  - ask Him for safety as we run errands and for wisdom in the things we do and the purchases we make.
~ Thank God for our families as you see the mounds of laundry that need to be done.

By doing all of these things, we can be setting examples for our children.

The second priority is to have a joyful ministry to family. First we are to focus on the relationship with Christ. Then the second priority is our family. However, in the family, the husband comes first, followed by the children. Even though sometimes this can be hard, our husbands should come before our children. Pastor Bob said that a wife adds dimensions to a man he would not have by himself. He also stated that if your relationship with Christ is what it should be then a God fearing wife and mother is family oriented. There are many verses through the passage that we covered that help show this. Verses 14 and 15 show that she keeps them fed. Verses 13, 19, 21 and 22 show that she keeps them clothed. Verse 11 shows that her husband has full confidence in her and that she can take care of the home and the children because she is God fearing.

The third priority is growth is Godly character - we should wholeheartedly be seeking this! This kind of goes back to the beauty and external parts of the first priority. For in a world that shouts a woman's character is all about her outside adornment and external things, it is important for us to be looking to the inside and focusing on what is going on there. 1 Peter 3:3-4 talks about what true beauty is. It says that it does not come from the external things, but from the internal. There is a list of what things to be looking for in our Godly character - the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). As we are trying to live by this priority, we should be praying for these characters to be flourishing within and to be nurtured. A Godly wife and mother should be more concerned about BEING than DOING - what she IS than how she PERFORMS.

The last priority is an overall balance in life. We should desperately trying to work at living a balanced life. If all we do is continually say yes to things and we do not have the confidence to say no, then we are only causing harm to other priorities that we are to live by. If you have things in line and are not trying to do everything alone, then you will have the ability to know what responsibilities and/or activities can or cannot fit in places. If it doesn't work with our schedule, we have to say no. It is very much impossible to do all of this alone, but oh so possible to do when the priorities are in line because your balance will tell us what to say yes to and what to decline. It is VERY ok to say no! There are some verses in this passage that tells us what a Godly wife and mother is involved in - Verse 20 - she opens her arms to the needy; Verse 24 - she is gracious and giving; Verse 25 - she laughs and does not fear the future; and Verse 26 - she invests and instructs others. Have confidence in what you do, but know that the health of your family and priorities can help you to know what is too much.

Pastor Bob ended his sermon with telling us to pray for the wives and mothers that we know in order to help them in their priorities. To live by God's principles and not by societies. It is very tiring to live by what the world deems is a "good" wife and mother and what that all entails. However, if we choose to live by what God deems is a good wife and mother, we are not doing it alone.

Monday, September 19, 2011


"Passion: a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music."

This is just one of the definitions for the word passion - it actually is number six out of twelve.  I had originally intended to write about this, but I got a little sidetracked when I got to the bottom of the list of definitions. I will get back to my original topic because it goes along with it; however, the definition that caught my attention was this:

"Passion: 11. (often cap) Theol.
               a. the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
               b. the narrative of Christ's sufferings as recorded in the Gospels."

The first thing that struck me was the fact that something about Christ was mentioned at all. In a world where "Under God" and "In God We Trust" are becoming too religious for this country, it shocked me to see the mentioning of Christ in a dictionary especially under "passion". The second thing that drew my attention was that the word His in reference to Christ was actually capitalized. I was always raised that when you are writing about Christ or God you always capitalize the pronouns. As I have gotten older and newer versions of books and bibles have come out, I see this less and less. To me, this is just my opinion, capitalizing those words are a sign of respect. I think when I read that definition, my mouth dropped open.

Everyone has a passion for something, whether it be writing, crafts, bullriding, reading, teaching, helping etc. And those specific passions have been given by God to each one of us. Mine happens to be writing and my husband's is bullriding. This passion of mine has been calling to be and causing me to itch a lot in the last week or so. Itch to have paper in front of me and a pen in my hand, which is partially why I have a few entries written up in the last week. I have actually been blogging a little less (or more, depending on how you think about it) traditionally. Since my littlest got his shots and this past week has been busy, I haven't really been able to get on the computer to write like I want. So, I write with pen and paper and then type it up after I am done.

All of this talk and thinking about my passion has gotten me to think about a question Josh asked me a few years ago when we were getting to know each other. He asked, "if I were to get seriously injured while bullriding and want to go back after I was healed, would you be ok with that and be able to support me?" In response I said, "my initial reaction would be no, I wouldn't be ok. However, that would be purely out of being scared and caring about you. After thinking about it and not speaking from being afraid, I would have to understand and support you because bullriding is your passion. My passion is not nearly as life threatening as yours, but I can't imagine someone telling me I couldn't read or write again."

That is, in a way, what I have been struggling with for the last week. I have had the urge to write and not feeling like I could, but instead of just dealing with it or waiting for a time when I could write like I so often do, I found another way to do it. And I got back to my passion! :)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Things Can Wait

I don't think I know anyone who likes to get shots, but having to watch a baby get shots is horrid. Then add to it that the baby is YOUR baby and it's just heartbreaking! I went through shots with Liam, but for some reason my brain must have blocked a lot of it out.

AJ had his 2 month shots Monday the 12th. We got to the health department and chatted with two other moms who had had their babies the same weekend AJ was born. One baby went in for their shots and AJ fell asleep. That baby came out screaming. The second baby went in and then we were called back. I took Austin out of his carseat and put him on the doctor's table/bed.

My little guy cried the whole time until I picked him up. Then he was fine :o) The main reason he was crying was because he didn't wake himself up - I did. He hates having someone or something wake him up! By the time we got to the car, he was passed out again.

When we got home I was going to nurse him and then start tackling my list of things to do: laundry (wash, dry, fold and put away), dishes, other cleaning, plus some things organized in closets and the boys room and I wanted to do some much needed and desired writing!

My plans were quickly changed and adjusted because my baby needed me! He desperately just wanted to be held by his mama. Every time I would try to put him down, even if he was sound asleep, he would wake up screaming! All he did was eat and fall back to sleep. Daddy came home with such a sad look on his face because he knew his little boy wasn't feeling well. He didn't like it any more than I did.

So my list of things waited because my baby needed his mama!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Not mine, but Yours!

Our baby turned two months old last Friday, the 9th - two months! How is it that much time has gone by already? It seems like just yesterday that I was still pregnant. Still pregnant and wondering.  Wondering when he was going to come, when we would be able to see his precious face, who he would look like how big he was going to be and so much more.

Now, he is here! Smiling, laughing, cooing and growing up so fast. There are still many times when Austin is laying on my chest and I turn to Josh and say "I can't believe he is ours!" or "We have a baby!". Josh will look at me, smile, shake his head and say something in affirmation.

It still amazes me, God's plan and design! How he can form these little people inside of their mother's womb. They go from a fertilized egg all the way to a baby! It takes my breath away to think about all the in between stages and the intricate details of a human that have to be pieced together. It is truly amazing! We are so blessed to have a Father who loves us so much that he would take his time in the way he makes us. He doesn't just throw us together and make it all easy - he makes each part of us with such a design and idea that it could be called intricate, complicated or thoughtful. He thought of everything when he made his beloved.

This is how my boys were made! With such love, time, caring and knowledge. I have to remember that these boys, no matter how much I love them, are not mine. The are God's boys! He has just given me the wonderful opportunity and blessing to be their mother. Ultimately though, they belong to Him! I'm sure as a Father well before I ever became a mother, he loves and takes delight in watching them grow, develop and learn, just as I do!