Let's back up now a couple of months to some posts that I have not typed up, but had written:
As our baby turns one in just a few days, which totally doesn't seem possible by the way, I have come to the realization that I am in complete denial.
The invitations for his party were sent out later than I would have normally sent out invitations. Shoot, it took me forever to even buy them! Planning his party .... what planning? Buying him presents ...what's that?
Josh looked at me tonight and said "are we actually going to go buy him gifts this weekend?".
I just smiled and said, "no".
Because then it's real and my baby won't be a baby anymore. I know he will always be MY baby but he's not A baby.
This one is hard...and I'm not ready.